YouTube’s New Restrictions

Hello!

Yes, I am offline. Yes, I’m “not blogging”. However an issue for the LGBTQ+ community has shown up that I can’t not discuss.

I’m sure YouTube’s restricted mode blocking any content concerning the LGBTQ+ community probably hasn’t escaped your notice. This is a big deal, YouTube is basically the biggest video platform on the internet, yes restricted mode is about protecting people from offensive/dangerous content. But our community is neither of these.

This blocking of all of this content is just another form of discrimination. Yes, in many countries we have equal rights, can get married. But it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of discrimination.

I sometimes hear people say “why do charities like Stonewall still exist. People are equal.” This is why they exist. In theory we are equal, but we all know that events like this still take place and are often still ignored, on this kind of scale and on the small scale- the bullying in schools, the offensive comments, people like myself staying in the closet in fear of rejection. We are not equal.

And while this continues we must continue to be proud, to fight back, to make our voices be heard. Social equality can be achieved, just it hasn’t yet.

That is all I have to say, I will be back regularly in June. If you liked this post give it a like. Feel free to leave any comments. If you want to be notified when I post feel free to follow me, it means a lot.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Why I Hate Healthy Lifestyle People

Hello!

A very important issue recently came to my attention. Lifestyle bloggers/ vloggers. I’m talking about people like Marcus Butler, Niomi Smart etc.

Why do I see them as an issue? You may be asking me. While I am perfectly sure they are very nice people, I don’t like the lifestyles they promote. Everywhere you look on their social media is health foods, gym photos and then Marcus Butler in particular endless “oh preparing for cheat day, naughty.” Bullshit like that.

I see this as a problem because it promotes a lifestyle that is so over the top about being healthy that the stress of maintaining it is probably unhealthy. Being in the gym, eating buckets of kale.

It puts even more pressure on young people to have a perfect body. That is why I see them as a problem. Yes, you shouldn’t eat crap all the time. But you shouldn’t live a life like that and for gods sake, cake is good, enjoy it. 

A number of my friends won’t eat certain things, hell C I’m pretty sure is on the verge of anorexia (I’m actually not joking.) This is simply because these “healthy” lifestyles are thrown at them everywhere and the idea you have to be perfect to be happy.

Hell, it was even in a French textbook. Like what the actual fuck?! I personally do not need these people telling me all about how great kale and shit is for you and how I should try some in a fucking smoothie. Fruit belongs in a smoothie, is kale a fruit? I don’t think so.

So in conclusion, especially if you are/worship a lifestyle blogger/vlogger, think about how healthy your lifestyle actually is. Thank you and please stop forcing your ideologies in my Instagram feed.

If you like what I think, please give this post a like or even a comment if you really loved it, if you want to see more of my shit feel free to follow me, I post on here every Sunday GMT. My socials are below for everyone and at the very top if your are not on the WordPress reader.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

My Mum Read My Fanmail…

Hello!

So something pretty awkward just happened. My mum and I were out walking the dog, when she pulled something out of her pocket, a letter.

It was a fan mail I wrote to Joe Sugg 2 years ago, but never sent. I wrote it when I was alone in the house, but I think my parents arrived before I finished addressing it, so I shoved it in an old school book in my office draw.

I actually meant to destroy it, because it was complete crap, but evidently I forgot before the moment arrived. So it’s been there for 2 years, and she found it.

Awkward… She had a go at me saying stuff along the lines of “So you’re happy to tell a complete stranger this but not me or your father.” (It contained information about my bullying then.) 

I wanted to remind her that she did know, but she already moved onto “You don’t know these people on the internet.” I gave up in the end and managed to take it so I could destroy it, like I should have done 2 years ago.

I guess if there’s one thing to learn, if you don’t want your parents finding stuff, either use passwords, destroy it, or get it out of the house so they can’t find it. 

Please learn from my mistakes… I’m going to go and hide somewhere for a long time…

Love, AkwardHuman xx

KSI and Thorpe Park

Hello!

So yesterday I went to Thorpe Park. I also happened to find myself less than 5 metres away from KSI (more on that later.)

We arrived at around 10:30am. First we decided to go onto Inferno. Inferno looked sort of intimidating but it is actually a really good ride. It has a loop as well as a few corkscrews.

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We then went onto Stealth. This is a brilliant ride with no loops if you have a fear of being upside down, however if you dislike going really fast or being high, I would really not reccomend this ride. I would also reccomend not having your keys in your pocket (someone else on the ride did and they went flying.)

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After that, we went on one of the water rides called Tidal Wave. If you don’t want to go upside down, really fast or high then this ride is great. BUT, you get absolutely soaked regardless of where you sit.

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Next, we queued for Saw. The waiting time said 40 minutes. However someone was sick on the ride which meant an extra 20, minutes shortly after we joined  the queue. This turned a number of people ahead of us away. I got bored at this point and went off to find food. My two friends who stayed in the queue were there for over an hour after the ride restarted (so the queue time was quite off). They did say it was a brilliant ride. It has a number or drops and a loop. Be aware, you shouldn’t go on this ride if you have just eaten lunch.

However, while I was waiting for them to make an appearance, I stood by the exit to the ride and while I was waiting, I noticed a mob of 10 year olds. I thought this a little odd but didn’t really think anything of it. However, after a little while, KSI appeared at the exit.

I don’t watch KSI so I a) wasn’t particularly bothered at the time and b) didn’t realise who it was until he had gone. BUT, another of my associates got some photos which he sent me.

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All in all it was an amazing day, however, I would advise that you do not go on a weekend in peak season due to the fact it is mobbed. If you do choose to do this, at lunch eat later than normal. This means all the big rides are emptier for an hour or so because people don’t want to throw up.

In other news, yes my blog is back online. There have been words with C and hopefully my secrets aren’t in big danger of being revealed.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Bisexual: My Story So Far

Hello!

Roughly a year ago, I started this blog. I started it for a number of reasons.
1. I was having serious issues with my friends, some still have not been resolved.
2. I needed somewhere that no one knew who I was so I could say what I wanted.
3. I was starting to wonder about my sexuality.

It’s reason 3 that I am writing this post today. I didn’t want a whole big coming out post, which is why I put it mid-rant. But also, I felt I wanted to share my story with you.

I’ve read a lot of stories on RUComingOut’s page and they made me realise, I’m not alone with the fear of coming out, and it has really helped me to get to the stage I am at today. Anyway, here we go…

As a child, being gay wasn’t something my parents discussed. Being the religous creep my mum is, she didn’t talk about it. It wasn’t unti middle school that I heard the term ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’. These are in inverted commas because everyone used it as an insult (it was the favourite insult), no one actually knew what it meant.

Our teachers got fed up of people insulting each other this way, so they sat us all down and explained the meaning of both terms. As a year 5, I was just like, and, the issue? Evidently I was the only one who thought this, everyone else was like omg thats so weird. Which made me associate non-heterosexuality as a bad thing. I didn’t really think anything of it.

Fast forward around 5 years into year 9,(around october 2014) I started watching youtubers such as Tyler Oakley. This introduced me to the LGBTQ+ community and made me realise it wasn’t a bad thing.

Around the time I started this blog, so January/ February, I realised I was looking at both guys and girls. I started to ask my self, what if I’m not straight? I watched a lot of youtubers coming out videos, read a lot of coming stories (yep, wouldn’t reccomend it. Some of them are not good…)

By I don’t know really. Summer 2015 ish I realised I was bisexual, slightly pansexual. On October 12th 2015, I was comfortable with this and I published a post on this blog titled ‘some people don’t get me’. This was basically one of my rants where I just ended up mentioning the fact I was bi, and I was just like fuck it. If people have an issue, I ‘m not telling them to read this.

I didn’t have the confidence to tell anyone I knew. I knew my parents wouldn’t take it well, and I had no clue how my friends would react. For around 6 months I felt so alone, isolated.

I came back to school for 2016, one of my new years resolutions was to try to come out to some people. On the 6th January, one of my friends was really upset. She had previously been before Christmas, but no one would tell me why.

Long story cut short, someone liked her, she’s gay, he confessed that he liked her, he got rejected, this triggered panic attacks, she was upset about causing this, shortly after Christmas I don’t know exactly what happened (well I don’t know the exact details of any part of this story anyway) but people found out about her. I then did as well. And that’s when I was just like well wtf, I’m with 3 non-judging people, one of them has been through what I have, tell them now. So I was just like “yeah well I’m bi” when she told me (she accompanied by the other 2 told me at lunch in person before I heard any rumours).

That weekend I also told my friend L, who wasn’t really bothered, as if I’d just told her that grass was green. Today, I also told someone else, one of C’s friends who got ditched. So neither of us like her much. She didn’t see it coming but she was very supportive.

However, I still need to tell my mum (religous creep, thinks non-heterosexuals are ‘weird’. Once said to me if you turn out gay, I won’t be angry, but I will be very very dissapointed and sad. It’s not the right way. Also thinks bisexuals are the worst… Great) and my dad (jerk, violent and easily angered if things don’t go his way, not keen on gay people at all). I won’t be telling them until I have my own roof…

I know that they probably should know at some point and I can’t hide it forever, but we can think about that if and when it comes to it. Considering that my only relationship has been with cake (and even then that didn’t last long (I ate it, just to clarify)), I don’t think it’s likely to become an issue any time soon.

After my parents find out, I can begin to tell others. But for now, I am happy that the weight has been taken off my shoulders, a few select people know but no one who’s going to judge me.

So that’s the story so far. Hopefully, I will continue to keep you updated and if anyone ever wants to talk about ANYTHING (well almost), DM me on any of the social media’s below.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Twitter & Instagram: @akwardhumanblog
Wattpad: @AkwardHumanBlog

Seeing Joe Sugg

Hello!

I’m in Bath! As my late birthday present one of my friends bought tickets for me to see Joe Sugg :D.

So, we left my house quite early yesterday as we live quite a long way from Bath. We had some lunch and went to the Roman Baths, don’t drink the water, it tastes awfull- even the stuff at the end that you’re allowed to drink.

After we finished there it was 45 minutes to the show, so we headed to the forum. We got in, got our signed copies of USERNAME:EVIE and sat there on snapchat, why not?

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When the show started and they bought Joe out, oh my god, the noise… He was taller than I thought he would be, around my height. I guess Caspar makes him look short.

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They talked for half an hour about the book and then they had a Q&A. Me and my friend had our hands up for the entire half an hour and didn’t get to ask a question…

He was still so funny and stuff in real life. The show was so good, best birthday present ever! Unfortunately we didn’t meet Joe but as the unluckiest person on this planet, I was prepared for that.

AkwardHuman xx

How To Survive School

Hello!

I wrote this a couple of days ago after watching Sprinkle Of Glitter’s video on school tips. So I decided to give you some of my own advice.

It’s September, so alot of us are going back to school (including me. I am suffering with you). Last year, I didn’t do a great job of trying to survive so to help you do better than I did, I thought I would give you some advice and tell you what not to do.

1. Make an effort with your classmates. Most years, none of our year bother with each other, which is fine until you really need help from that kid who’s great at maths but hates your guts. Try to get them to like you. They don’t have to be your best friend just don’t make them hate you.

2. Be organised. I am a disorganised person. The only reason anything gets done is because my mum nags me. By organised I don’t mean you need to have binders for every subject or anything, but make sure you don’t crumple your work and you actually do it.

3. Get the balance right. No one likes really nerdy people but equally you won’t get anywhere if you muck around all the time. Face the fact, you are stuck in education until your 18 in the UK. May as well get something to show for it. I’m not saying you have to be a complete nerd but get the balance. Do the work to a decent standard but don’t be really nerdy (there are some kids that walk round school reciting periodic table.) It’s a fine line.

4. Be confident. Especially if your new, you are going to get picked on if you are that shy loner. Get in with a bunch of people you like and that like you. I have plenty of experience here, don’t be that loner.

5. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Sort of self eplanetory. We got caught playing Cards Against Humanity a couple of times. It got us alot of unwanted attention from teachers and other kids. Do not play this game. Especially at school.

6. Don’t go around editing photos of your headteacher and leaving your phone unlocked. That actually happened to one of my friends. They weren’t impressed. And they got in ALOT of trouble. Sort of links in to number 5.

7. Do the best you can so you can do whatever it is you want to do. Alot of people think the saying you can be whatever you want uf you put your mind to it is rubbish. It’s not. I know alot of people, not particularly smart but they worked. And they did well.

That’s some pretty bad advice but however, if you follow it you may cope better than I did.

AkwardHuman xx

Random Post About Scotland

Hello!

We made it! It’s FINALLY the summer holidays!

I am currently in the place where I first discovered the happy land of youtube. It’s this really really nice house in Scotland- why I was saying I was in Scotland and moaning about Scottish weather on my twitter (@akwardhumanblog).

I’m terrible with self promo..

Anyway, so yesterday we went on a walk on the beach then we went to pick up my grandma. Me and my dad also made macaroni cheese pies (apparently they are a really scottish thing. Anything in pie is really scottish. Just like in England we put everything in pastry). I might make a post with the recipe…

Moving on from pies… Today, we dragged gran out for a 3 or 4 hour walk. Lets say she wasn’t to impressed.

I have really been enjoying the really good wifi here, let’s say sleeping hasn’t been an option. Well, it was but sleep or youtube. No brainer. Youtube.

This has also been a good oppurtunity to get away from some of the haters. Most of them are unaware left so by the time I get home and back to school the instagram hate thing should have blown over. Hopefully.

Apparently tomorrow we are going on a boat trip to see some seals etc tomorrow. Unfortunately I can’t uplpoad any photos until I get home because I don’t have a laptop with me to upload photos onto. And I hate taking photos on my phone.

Sorry! So no photos for 2 weeks but then there will be loads (hopefully. If I don’t fill up my memory).

I’m rambling…

AkwardHuman xx

The Internet Is Mean

Hello!

A couple of days ago I tweeted something like “I really hate the internet sometimes”. Recently I have been getting some serious hate on my personal instagram account.

A while ago, I uploaded a photo of my hair to show my friends. My face did not look great in this photo. Naturally, some people saw this and didn’t look at my hair or my comment, they looked at my friend and laughed.

This turned into a running joke for a number of people at my school. Apparently people have even set it as their phone screensaver so they can laugh whenever they turn on their phone.

Whenever I walk past they talk and laugh. All because of a photo. It has made my life a misery for about a week now. My message is this.

Just because you can hide behind a screen, don’t think you can get away with it. All you are doing is making someone elses life a misery. And what are you gaining?? Not much really.

As for people who post without thinking… I’ve been there. If there’s the slightest chance you may regret posting, don’t post. Not thinking is a perfect oppurtunity for people who enjoy other peoples misery.

I do still love the internet though. Don’t get me wrong. It allows me to watch youtube. I have made a number of friends through it, it lets me talk to my friends. It allows me to blog here. I know literally no one reads this but it gives me space to be me.

If however, you have read this, please tell me how you deal with haters because it’s becoming a serious issue.

AkwardHuman xx