The Exchange Student Situation


I can officially say I had the weirdest 36 hours of my life this week. Basically, it was around Tuesday lunch time, I’d texted my mum earlier in the day to say a sports fixture may be cancelled, but we didn’t know. The reply I recieved was something along the lines of “if you need to be picked up at 4, that’s fine, I’ll be there at 4 to collect the French exchange student.”

No one in my family takes french.

Eventually it turned out that my brother had expressed an interest in having an exchange student, but since he doesn’t take the language, he was put on the back up list. Some family let them down. So we had an exchange student.

Which was fine. Until we realised, my dad was due to come home after quite a long time on Sunday. So on the Wednesday night we thought this was something we should mention when he called.

My dad had different ideas. Literally right after my mum had messaged him about the extra child, he showed up. Roughly 5 days early. And he still had no clue we had an extra child in the house.

That was a really entertaining one to explain to him.

Anyway, he didn’t seem to mind too much so everything was OK, but it was still pretty entertaining.

I hope you enjoyed this post, please give it a like if you did. Follow me to see more of my life fails. My socials are at the top.

AwkwardHuman xx




2017 is basically over (thank god.) I’m not going to lie, I’m so ready for 2018. 

 (when I saw this from Dillon Francis I was like… Yeah. That belongs on my post discussing how shit 2017 was.) 
As I do every year, I’ve looked back at my post about 2016, realised how amazing it was compared to 2017, and also realised I made no resolutions except to have an amazing 2017. FAIL.

Anyway, I am going to make resolutions for 2018.

1. Get out of the closet some more. Since it happened in 2016, but not so much in 2017, and I find that I just feel better for being out of the closet.

2. Have a better 2018 than 2017. Hopefully that shouldn’t be too hard.

3. Be more positive. In 2016 I was good at this. Not any more, and I want my blog to be a more posisitve space for all kinds of people to connect. I’m aware that in the last few months it’s been a depressing read.

4. Grow the blog. Self explanatory. 

Anyway, moving on… Looking at this years highlights?

  • I went to Kos, where my brother slept through an earthquake
  • I got some GCSEs
  • I went to Burghley
  • I came out a bit more
  • I got to 200 likes on the blog (yeah it’s taken the best part of 3 years, but I’ll take it).

    I think that’s probably about it… It’s been a bad year. Hopefully though, I’ll manage my resolution and 2018 will be better. If not, at the very least I need some catastrophic fails so the internet can laugh at me.

    I hope that 2018 is amazing for anyone who’s reading this. Feel free to leave some of your own resolutions down below. Like this post if you enjoyed it. Follow me to hell me achieve my 4th resolution (and to see more of what I have to say.) My socials are at the top.

    AwkwardHuman xx

    I’m back!


    It feels weird and amazing to be able to open up WordPress and type that word again. I survived my exams and I am back! Well, when I say that I mean that I only have two exams left.

    Yes yes, whatever I never really left my socials and I still wrote a couple of posts, because I really needed to and I lack that discipline. But I am now back and I will be posting every Sunday evening at 6pm GMT like I used to.

    You may or may not have noticed, depending on how observant you are, there have been a few name changes. The typo in the name ‘AkwardHuman’ just annoyed me, so all of my socials have now been changed, the links at the top have been changed and I will list them at the bottom of this post. I also have a new logo to go with that.

    Unfortunately, the link of this site will have to stay the same. This is because some dick has ‘reserved’ the site with the correct spelling. I have a feeling that I know who this dick may be, but because I don’t want to advertise the bullshit that this dick has to say for themselves, I won’t be mentioning any names.

    Moving on, I have a shit tonne of ideas of things I want to blog about and now, I actually have time to do that, so this is hopefully going to be a good summer.

    If you like what I have to say for myself, please give this post a like or a comment. If you want to see more of what I have to say, please give me a follow, you don’t neccessarily need a WordPress account. My Twitter is now @awkwardhumanblg My Instagram and Wattpad are both @awkwardhumanblog

    AwkwardHuman xx

    Goodbye Internet.


    I really don’t want to say what I have to say, but I have to say it, so I’m doing it. My GCSEs are this May, my first exam being in something really scary like 8 weeks.

    Quite simply I don’t want to be thinking about what I’m going to post next while I’m trying to learn history or while I’m in an exam. Basically I need to focus.

    I can’t do this while continuing this blog. 

    It’s very difficult for me, but I won’t be posting anything on here until around late June. I’ll still be posting on my Instagram and twitter a little and I’ll still answer messages, but until June this blog and my Wattpad will not have anything posted. It’s just the easiest way for me to focus.

    Thank you for understanding, and if you have any big exams coming up, good luck.

    Until June…

     Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Horse Catch-up


    Its been a while since I’ve talked horses, and I basically just want to do that. A lot has happened to me in terms of riding. I think (and can’t be bothered to check) that the last time I talked horses here I was working for someone who had horses in their back garden a few miles away and riding at my local stables with a decent instructor.

    That has changed quite a bit. I no longer ride at the local stables since my lesson clashes with an extra class I have to take and I basically don’t have time to ride there. Plus the decent instructor left so it hasn’t been worth spending time or money there recently, I plan to go back after my GCSEs.

    In terms of the horses in the back garden… I left there because quite frankly I didn’t like the owners daughter’s attitude of cutting basic corners of horse care and the “any problem can be sorted if you put more metal in the horses mouth” attitude.

    Anyway, I made some friends (round of applause please) and I now simply go to someone elses back garden and ride their horses, it’s a nicer environment where I’m not constantly riding around main roads. The owner there is also a qualified instructor so I’m also basically getting a free private lesson most weeks as well as stable management, a better deal than the riding stables.

    There is an extra horse there, they’re all really nice, friendly horses which while they aren’t easy rides, they wouldn’t intentionally harm anyone. I’m just finding it an all round better experience (as well as the fact it’s really close to my house) and I am learning a lot more than I previously have been. It’s been interesting because a lot of what I’ve been taught goes against riding school methods (partly because one has one eye and another is like a giant child).

    Anyway, that’s all I have to say. If you enjoyed this post please give it a like, if you want to see more of what I have to say please feel free to follow me, I post every Sunday at 6pm GMT, it genuinely means a lot to me.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Merry Christmas (Late)


    Yes, it is indeed Monday morning. Yes, I do normally post on a Sunday. Yesterday was Christmas day (in case it had escaped your notice), I meant to write a post quickly (and failed.)

    However, I hope you had an amazing day with your families, that you got some cool stuff and that 2017 is amazing for you. 

    I had an amazing day yesterday (hence the fact I forgot to write a post) and my 2016  in general has been great. 

    I want you all to go and have an amazing year this next year and that you do amazing things. I’m not kidding when I say you can do a lot of crazy shit if you want it bad enough. 

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    I need to make this very clear


    Anonymity is becoming harder and harder for me. I realised this a few days ago when I was scrolling through my recommendations of who to follow and it turned out that one of my followers on my @akwardhumanblog account was following a number of accounts who my personal account follows and know in real life.

    This is potentially quite difficult, because while I try to cover my back wherever possible, someone could possibly tell the world who I am. Which is not something I want, considering I really love the closet.

    I have also been asked on around 3 occasions by people, who’s names will not be mentioned, who I am, and they did sort of want to know.

    I am going to make this very clear here now. I do not want people knowing who I am. AkwardHuman is an identity where I can be myself completely and not have to worry about people who know me in real life judging me. My real name isn’t something I want you knowing because of the lies already existing somewhere in the internet associated with that name.

    I hope this is something I have made very clear to anyone who reads this, especially if you are someone who wants to know who I am.

    When I started this blog, I made it clear it would be anonymous and it would remain anonymous unless I decided to reveal my identity on my own terms.

    Thank you. And I also apologise for my absence from the internet last weekend, I was in Duke Of Edinburgh and didn’t have time or energy to think of anything of interest to blog about.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Too Much Shit Is Happening


    You aren’t aware of this, because I haven’t told anyone this, but I am going through a lot of shit right now.

    Around 6 years ago my gran was diagnosed with cancer. They gave her months to live. Thanks to a lot of treatment, she is still alive today. In this time, she’s done alot of things, including alot of travelling and she even climbed Cairngorm with us last year. However, they have run out of options. She was admitted into an intensive care unit a few weeks ago because the tumour caused an infection in her. All they can do is make her as comfortable as possible now. She is still in hospital and they are sending her home soon, to die.

    She gave it a good shot, she’s surprised everyone a number of times. She has really made the most of the time she’s had. She’s done lots of travelling and last really made the most of her time.

    While this has been happenening, my Grandad has been trying to buy a house closer to us. He was packing his garage when he found a lawn mower and cut his toe off, so he can’t drive at the moment.

    This has been causing my dad a lot of stress, because he’s been having to run around after his parents. This means he is quite tired and can’t properly relax, even while we were on holiday in Croatia. 

    Tuesday 20th October

    I have also just found out my Mum’s dad had a minor stroke last night and he’s now in hospital…

    As well as this, I am about to go into year 11 (GCSE year.) Every few days my parents say to me how important they are and I need to pass them. This just stresses me out which causes everyone to get really annoyed with me because I get really over the top about tiny things when I’m stressed, which just works in a vicious circle. 

    It’s not great timing for any of this, let’s put it like that.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    A Letter to my Parents.

    Dear Mum and Dad,

    There’s a number of things I want to tell you. But I can’t. When you say “you can tell us anything” we both know you don’t mean it, you mean anything except what I actually should tell you.

    I want to tell you how scared I am. Of failure, of people not accepting me for who I am. I want to tell you about Tyler Oakley’s latest video and how I can relate so much to it, I share his fear.

    I want to tell you how I am struggling with things. Especially school. But to say that is to admit I was wrong about my school. I want to tell you how much I am disliked, because of you mum.

    I want to be able to tell you my actual opinion on things. The last time I had an opinion on something important, you only told me my opinion was wrong and I wasn’t allowed to think such things.

    I want to be able to rely on you to back me up, but I can’t. You never listen to me. It’s never about me, its about whoever is making shit up about me.

    I want to be the person I am. Not that person you want me to be. You want me to be that straight kid, who’s good at everything and has loads of interests, actually goes shopping, goes to church and doesn’t live in wellies.

    The truth is, I’m not straight, I’m only alright at everything, I don’t have tons of what you class as interests but I have interests and what I am interested in I am very passionate about, I hate shopping and I can’t be bothered with fashion and shit, I like wellies and waterproof trousers. As for church, I don’t really believe in a god, there is more evidence supporting The Big Bang Theory, and for fucks sake church is so boring.

    Love, Your Daughter.

    So that was a full on letter to my parents, the full on version from this post here.

    In other news, I have heightened my privacy settings due to issues involving a certain issue known as C finding this. If you are reading this, congratulations you’re one of the lucky ones. My settings will be raised until further notice

    I am also beginning a new phanfiction, the first part will go up tonight.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Letters to Family, Friends and Other Associates


    Have you ever had that task in English where you have to write a letter to someone? We all get it at some point. You always have to really censor it because you know it’s actually your English teacher who’s going to read it…

    So here’s what I’d write to people if my English teacher wasn’t reading.

    Dear Mum and Dad,
    I am bi. Get used to that idea. It may stop us from being one of those ‘disfunctional families that are all you ever see on TV.’ I am not the issue, if that’s what you think, you lied to me when I was 5 and you said ‘we love you no matter what’. Please take a minute to think about that. I hope that you will learn to accept me. Love, your daughter.

    Harsh… Probably.

    To my brother,
    We established we don’t like each other a long time ago when I spun you in the baby bouncer. However, sometimes your alright. SOMETIMES. Not all the time. Really only when we go and play laser tag. Your sister.

    Yeah, the embarrassing truth.

    To C,
    You are my longest friend, but I am only your friend when it suits you. To me, that’s not a true friend. You have made some terrible decisions and while you’ve been making them, I’ve been watching, when you got bored, I was suddenly your best friend again. I’m not going to lie but it hurts. Please go and make your bad decisions somewhere else so I don’t get hurt again. From That weirdo you sometimes hang around with.

    You guys are probably fed up with that story by now…

    To B, E and J,
    You are 3 of 5 people that know my face and sexuality. Thank you for being there. I know that one of you has also faced similar issues and can relate to many of my struggles. You have all seen me do some stupid stuff. 2 of you have even watched me vomit. Yet you still stick around with me. You really must be crazy. Thank you. From the really loud and crazy one.

    To L,
    I stalk you. You are probaly fed up of me. But you have never told me to piss off. Probably because I keep an eye on the sheep for you… But anyway, you haven’t ever openly told me you hate me (which is a first). From that weirdo stalker.

    There we go, some positive ones.

    To my headteacher,
    Please do not reproduce. You are a cold hearted woman. As is your deputy. The only thing he cares about is that the doughnut shop closed. However, your school is alright. But I would like to know what happened to 2 of the cooks, they were nice to me. From that idiot pupil who you can hear from the other end of school.

    To Bullies/ Popular Kids,
    Fuck you. You think I will do what you want just because you have more facebook friends. HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE YOU ACTUALLY MET? You earn my respect, you don’t just get it. Oh, and by the way, yes your bum does look big in those trousers. From that kid who really doesn’t give a shit about what you say.

    And there we go. I think I’ll end it there.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Twitter & Instagram: @akwardhumanblog
    Wattpad: @AkwardHumanBlog