I’m back!

Hello!

It feels weird and amazing to be able to open up WordPress and type that word again. I survived my exams and I am back! Well, when I say that I mean that I only have two exams left.

Yes yes, whatever I never really left my socials and I still wrote a couple of posts, because I really needed to and I lack that discipline. But I am now back and I will be posting every Sunday evening at 6pm GMT like I used to.

You may or may not have noticed, depending on how observant you are, there have been a few name changes. The typo in the name ‘AkwardHuman’ just annoyed me, so all of my socials have now been changed, the links at the top have been changed and I will list them at the bottom of this post. I also have a new logo to go with that.

Unfortunately, the link of this site will have to stay the same. This is because some dick has ‘reserved’ the site with the correct spelling. I have a feeling that I know who this dick may be, but because I don’t want to advertise the bullshit that this dick has to say for themselves, I won’t be mentioning any names.

Moving on, I have a shit tonne of ideas of things I want to blog about and now, I actually have time to do that, so this is hopefully going to be a good summer.

If you like what I have to say for myself, please give this post a like or a comment. If you want to see more of what I have to say, please give me a follow, you don’t neccessarily need a WordPress account. My Twitter is now @awkwardhumanblg My Instagram and Wattpad are both @awkwardhumanblog

AwkwardHuman xx

Goodbye Internet.

Hello!

I really don’t want to say what I have to say, but I have to say it, so I’m doing it. My GCSEs are this May, my first exam being in something really scary like 8 weeks.

Quite simply I don’t want to be thinking about what I’m going to post next while I’m trying to learn history or while I’m in an exam. Basically I need to focus.

I can’t do this while continuing this blog. 

It’s very difficult for me, but I won’t be posting anything on here until around late June. I’ll still be posting on my Instagram and twitter a little and I’ll still answer messages, but until June this blog and my Wattpad will not have anything posted. It’s just the easiest way for me to focus.

Thank you for understanding, and if you have any big exams coming up, good luck.

Until June…

 Love, AkwardHuman xx

Horse Catch-up

Hello!

Its been a while since I’ve talked horses, and I basically just want to do that. A lot has happened to me in terms of riding. I think (and can’t be bothered to check) that the last time I talked horses here I was working for someone who had horses in their back garden a few miles away and riding at my local stables with a decent instructor.

That has changed quite a bit. I no longer ride at the local stables since my lesson clashes with an extra class I have to take and I basically don’t have time to ride there. Plus the decent instructor left so it hasn’t been worth spending time or money there recently, I plan to go back after my GCSEs.

In terms of the horses in the back garden… I left there because quite frankly I didn’t like the owners daughter’s attitude of cutting basic corners of horse care and the “any problem can be sorted if you put more metal in the horses mouth” attitude.

Anyway, I made some friends (round of applause please) and I now simply go to someone elses back garden and ride their horses, it’s a nicer environment where I’m not constantly riding around main roads. The owner there is also a qualified instructor so I’m also basically getting a free private lesson most weeks as well as stable management, a better deal than the riding stables.

There is an extra horse there, they’re all really nice, friendly horses which while they aren’t easy rides, they wouldn’t intentionally harm anyone. I’m just finding it an all round better experience (as well as the fact it’s really close to my house) and I am learning a lot more than I previously have been. It’s been interesting because a lot of what I’ve been taught goes against riding school methods (partly because one has one eye and another is like a giant child).

Anyway, that’s all I have to say. If you enjoyed this post please give it a like, if you want to see more of what I have to say please feel free to follow me, I post every Sunday at 6pm GMT, it genuinely means a lot to me.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Merry Christmas (Late)

Hello!

Yes, it is indeed Monday morning. Yes, I do normally post on a Sunday. Yesterday was Christmas day (in case it had escaped your notice), I meant to write a post quickly (and failed.)

However, I hope you had an amazing day with your families, that you got some cool stuff and that 2017 is amazing for you. 

I had an amazing day yesterday (hence the fact I forgot to write a post) and my 2016  in general has been great. 

I want you all to go and have an amazing year this next year and that you do amazing things. I’m not kidding when I say you can do a lot of crazy shit if you want it bad enough. 

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Do We Need A Monarchy?

Hello!

Would you want me running our country because I was born into the right family? Why are our monarchy any more special than anyone in this room? Do we even need a monarchy nowadays? We are a supposedly democratic country, yet the faces of our nation are not elected, doesn’t this bother you? The point of democracy is so that the people of a nation may choose who represents them, who runs their country for them, don’t you think that our monarchy goes against the very essence of this?

Yes, it is very true that our monarchy doesn’t have anywhere near as much power as they once did, look where Henry VIII ended up with the power thrust upon him due to birthright. As a result, our monarchy is a constitutional monarchy, they don’t have political power, but they are very much the face of our nation. Everything they do is eagerly watched by the media and therefore, the world. The actions of these people can brand our whole nation, as a result of this Britain has an image to the rest of the world as a snooty and class obsessed nation, whereas the reality is actually quite the opposite.

Our monarchy dates back to 827 AD with Egbert. Which means this goes back 1190 years, so a history lesson will not be given on our ancient and long line of monarchs, however, in this time there has been a substantial number of highly corrupt monarchs. Redstate.com have named some of the most atrocious monarchs as Richard3rd, Edward2nd, Edward8th, James2nd and Charles1st. The list itself was a bit lengthier than this, however you can tell by this that birthright is not the way ahead, which is why the Magna Carta in 1215 turned our monarchy to a constitutional monarchy, giving Parliament more power and them less. However, as a country in an economic crisis quickly evolving to modern times, surely we can bear to part with our outdated monarchy?

I’m sure that you are fully aware of Britain’s current economic crisis, as I previously mentioned, it is something that we hear a lot about in the news. Surprisingly enough, our Royal Family do not help this problem. Last year, funding their living cost taxpayers on average 52p each, which may not sound much, but their living cost came to £32.3 million, this is enough to pay bills for 1200 average families for an entire year. Not spending this money on them would save the government millions, as well as allowing them to reallocate this money elsewhere, for example to our NHS, which is suffering severe budget cuts at our expense. However, they do contribute some money themselves, for example Kate and William’s wedding a few years ago cost £20 million pounds, but it made in total £1 billion for the economy, which we all know, is a considerable profit. But, these events are few and far between, could more be made consistently from Buckingham Theme Park?

 Going back to my original question, would you want me running our country simply because of the family I was born into? I’m sure that your answer is probably no. Consider this for a second, because they are born into the right family, they get to run our country, to be the face of our nation and to live a privileged life. In reality, they are no more special for this job than anyone in this room. A very recent example in the long line of our outdated monarchy of how they used their birthright to be above everyone else, is when Prince William gained entry to St Andrews University, despite getting embarrassing A-Level results. Many other people work extraordinarily hard and fail to gain entry to this prestigious university, and because of the family he was born into, he was allowed in without any of the work that others put in. As the faces of our nation, everything they do is monitored which means that some tend to let themselves down a lot, let me take Prince Harry as an example, on countless occasions he has been in the media and not usually for positive reasons.

Think about it like this, if they are allowed to run our country, why couldn’t, say, the Simpsons? Yes, I do mean that cartoon family on the TV show. If we want unelected bad representation, which we have, then surely the Simpson family could give it to us. So, do we actually need a monarchy? I ask you to consider this question carefully. 50-75% of our population, as asked in a range of online polls, would say no to it. Surely this form of democracy shows you what our population wants for our country. Support democracy. Support  our right to choose. Say no to the monarchy. Thank you.

So this was a speech that I did for my English where we have to do a talk on a topic of our choice for speaking and listening. I hope that you found it more interesting than my classmates probably did. 

Love, AkwardHuman xx

I need to make this very clear

Hello!

Anonymity is becoming harder and harder for me. I realised this a few days ago when I was scrolling through my recommendations of who to follow and it turned out that one of my followers on my @akwardhumanblog account was following a number of accounts who my personal account follows and know in real life.

This is potentially quite difficult, because while I try to cover my back wherever possible, someone could possibly tell the world who I am. Which is not something I want, considering I really love the closet.

I have also been asked on around 3 occasions by people, who’s names will not be mentioned, who I am, and they did sort of want to know.

I am going to make this very clear here now. I do not want people knowing who I am. AkwardHuman is an identity where I can be myself completely and not have to worry about people who know me in real life judging me. My real name isn’t something I want you knowing because of the lies already existing somewhere in the internet associated with that name.

I hope this is something I have made very clear to anyone who reads this, especially if you are someone who wants to know who I am.

When I started this blog, I made it clear it would be anonymous and it would remain anonymous unless I decided to reveal my identity on my own terms.

Thank you. And I also apologise for my absence from the internet last weekend, I was in Duke Of Edinburgh and didn’t have time or energy to think of anything of interest to blog about.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Too Much Shit Is Happening

Hello!

You aren’t aware of this, because I haven’t told anyone this, but I am going through a lot of shit right now.

Around 6 years ago my gran was diagnosed with cancer. They gave her months to live. Thanks to a lot of treatment, she is still alive today. In this time, she’s done alot of things, including alot of travelling and she even climbed Cairngorm with us last year. However, they have run out of options. She was admitted into an intensive care unit a few weeks ago because the tumour caused an infection in her. All they can do is make her as comfortable as possible now. She is still in hospital and they are sending her home soon, to die.

She gave it a good shot, she’s surprised everyone a number of times. She has really made the most of the time she’s had. She’s done lots of travelling and last really made the most of her time.

While this has been happenening, my Grandad has been trying to buy a house closer to us. He was packing his garage when he found a lawn mower and cut his toe off, so he can’t drive at the moment.

This has been causing my dad a lot of stress, because he’s been having to run around after his parents. This means he is quite tired and can’t properly relax, even while we were on holiday in Croatia. 

Tuesday 20th October

I have also just found out my Mum’s dad had a minor stroke last night and he’s now in hospital…

As well as this, I am about to go into year 11 (GCSE year.) Every few days my parents say to me how important they are and I need to pass them. This just stresses me out which causes everyone to get really annoyed with me because I get really over the top about tiny things when I’m stressed, which just works in a vicious circle. 

It’s not great timing for any of this, let’s put it like that.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

A Letter to my Parents.

Dear Mum and Dad,

There’s a number of things I want to tell you. But I can’t. When you say “you can tell us anything” we both know you don’t mean it, you mean anything except what I actually should tell you.

I want to tell you how scared I am. Of failure, of people not accepting me for who I am. I want to tell you about Tyler Oakley’s latest video and how I can relate so much to it, I share his fear.

I want to tell you how I am struggling with things. Especially school. But to say that is to admit I was wrong about my school. I want to tell you how much I am disliked, because of you mum.

I want to be able to tell you my actual opinion on things. The last time I had an opinion on something important, you only told me my opinion was wrong and I wasn’t allowed to think such things.

I want to be able to rely on you to back me up, but I can’t. You never listen to me. It’s never about me, its about whoever is making shit up about me.

I want to be the person I am. Not that person you want me to be. You want me to be that straight kid, who’s good at everything and has loads of interests, actually goes shopping, goes to church and doesn’t live in wellies.

The truth is, I’m not straight, I’m only alright at everything, I don’t have tons of what you class as interests but I have interests and what I am interested in I am very passionate about, I hate shopping and I can’t be bothered with fashion and shit, I like wellies and waterproof trousers. As for church, I don’t really believe in a god, there is more evidence supporting The Big Bang Theory, and for fucks sake church is so boring.

Love, Your Daughter.

So that was a full on letter to my parents, the full on version from this post here.

In other news, I have heightened my privacy settings due to issues involving a certain issue known as C finding this. If you are reading this, congratulations you’re one of the lucky ones. My settings will be raised until further notice

I am also beginning a new phanfiction, the first part will go up tonight.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Letters to Family, Friends and Other Associates

Hello!

Have you ever had that task in English where you have to write a letter to someone? We all get it at some point. You always have to really censor it because you know it’s actually your English teacher who’s going to read it…

So here’s what I’d write to people if my English teacher wasn’t reading.

Dear Mum and Dad,
I am bi. Get used to that idea. It may stop us from being one of those ‘disfunctional families that are all you ever see on TV.’ I am not the issue, if that’s what you think, you lied to me when I was 5 and you said ‘we love you no matter what’. Please take a minute to think about that. I hope that you will learn to accept me. Love, your daughter.

Harsh… Probably.

To my brother,
We established we don’t like each other a long time ago when I spun you in the baby bouncer. However, sometimes your alright. SOMETIMES. Not all the time. Really only when we go and play laser tag. Your sister.

Yeah, the embarrassing truth.

To C,
You are my longest friend, but I am only your friend when it suits you. To me, that’s not a true friend. You have made some terrible decisions and while you’ve been making them, I’ve been watching, when you got bored, I was suddenly your best friend again. I’m not going to lie but it hurts. Please go and make your bad decisions somewhere else so I don’t get hurt again. From That weirdo you sometimes hang around with.

You guys are probably fed up with that story by now…

To B, E and J,
You are 3 of 5 people that know my face and sexuality. Thank you for being there. I know that one of you has also faced similar issues and can relate to many of my struggles. You have all seen me do some stupid stuff. 2 of you have even watched me vomit. Yet you still stick around with me. You really must be crazy. Thank you. From the really loud and crazy one.

To L,
I stalk you. You are probaly fed up of me. But you have never told me to piss off. Probably because I keep an eye on the sheep for you… But anyway, you haven’t ever openly told me you hate me (which is a first). From that weirdo stalker.

There we go, some positive ones.

To my headteacher,
Please do not reproduce. You are a cold hearted woman. As is your deputy. The only thing he cares about is that the doughnut shop closed. However, your school is alright. But I would like to know what happened to 2 of the cooks, they were nice to me. From that idiot pupil who you can hear from the other end of school.

To Bullies/ Popular Kids,
Fuck you. You think I will do what you want just because you have more facebook friends. HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE YOU ACTUALLY MET? You earn my respect, you don’t just get it. Oh, and by the way, yes your bum does look big in those trousers. From that kid who really doesn’t give a shit about what you say.

And there we go. I think I’ll end it there.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Twitter & Instagram: @akwardhumanblog
Wattpad: @AkwardHumanBlog

The Coolest Stuff I Have Done In My Life So Far.

Hello!

I was going through some old photos of some cool stuff that I have done in what I have lived of my life so far. So I thought I would share the most awesome things I have done in my life so far with you.

1. Canyoning. I went to Spain a couple of years ago. While we were there, my parents were like oh yeah, let’s do some crazy stuff, let’s go canyoning. For those of you who don’t know, canyoning is where you abseil down waterfalls, jump and slide down them. Quick note: I was scared of heights until this experience. This is a serious adrenaline rush and so fun, not to mention you see some beautifull views while you’re there.

2. White Water Rafting. While I was in Spain, we also decided to go white water rafting. I had no clue what it was until this point. Basically, you go in an inflatable boat with people, you get put on a stream with strong currents and rocks and you go down it. Again, adrenaline rush and so fun.

3. Climbed a mountain. I have climbed a few mountains. I climbed one in scotland which no one has ever heard of, and I have also climbed Cairngorm (also in Scotland), technically I climbed four mountains when I did that because we took a long circular route round it. It’s a big sense of achievement when you get to the top and the views are beautifull.

image

4. Horseriding on a beach. I think your supposed to do this with someone, but I did it on my own and it was still amazing just cantering around on the sand. It’s pretty cool, splashing in the waves (make sure you know the area first, or you are with someone who does).

5. Seeing Joe Sugg in Bath. You should know the story, there’s a post on it. Great trip, amazing seeing him in person, although we didn’t meet. Just amazing.

image

6. Lambing. Again, I think I told this story. Best thing to do. If your ever offered a job to help out during lambing season, take it. Plus, there’s cute lambs and there’s always a few that need bottle feeding. This is also how ‘Night of the Quadbike’ came around. Basically, 1 man quadbike. L was on the front with a dog (not a small one either), I was on the back with a fully grown ewe and there was 2 lambs on the very front of it. And we nearly tipped it…

image

7. Water zorbing/xorbing however it’s spelt. Really funny and you get absolutely drenched. Best in Scotland/ Northern England (anywhere with decent hills really).

8. Uk’s longest zipwire. Why is everything in Scotland? This is in an area of Scotland called Dunfries and Galloway. The views are amazing, it’s exhilerating. Not reccomended if you are not keen on heights. However, they do make you sign your life away before doing it (well not really, it’s just a piece of paper saying you won’t sue them if you get injured).

I think that’s it.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

Twitter & Instagram: @akwardhumanblog
Wattpad: @AkwardHumanBlog