My Spam Comments

Hello!

I get a lot of spam comments. Some of them are pretty funny. Obviously normally they can’t be seen and I don’t get notified by them thanks to Akismet. But I can choose to view them, and every so often I do. So I decided to leave them for maybe a couple of months so I could write a post about my spam comments. Here we go…

I really don’t understand the first paragraph… Or any of the rest of it actually. Did this person just do that thing where they write what autocorrect suggests?

Well thankyou… But that post really wasn’t that interesting, and I don’t think there’s much to learn.

Wow, free truck games? Sign me up. I didn’t bother to check out the link, but I’m guessing it’s self promotion.

Ok, this is literally pressing autocorrect. This made me laugh, a lot.

Is it me, or are they writing to Sheryl? The third paragraph confuses me. Thanks for the spam comment to someone else.

Thanks for the free advice, but in all seriousness, I’m not that serious about this blog.

This started off as just weird then got into self promotion. And what is it with them all being on Why I Am The Way I Am?

I have an RSS feed? That’s news.

Loving the self promotion. Thank you very much.

This person had another 4 comments also on the same post… What the actual fuck? Stop getting your bot or whatever to ask for advice, and at least get a better one that doesn’t comment on the same post.

That’s all of my spam comments at the moment. If you enjoyed this post, please give it a like or a comment. If you want to see more of what I have to say please follow me, my socials are linked at the top of my site.

AwkwardHuman xx

What Happened On DofE

Hello!

I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but I have been working towards my Duke Of Edinburgh bronze award for a while. If I haven’t before, feel free to appreciate that I dislike the monarchy but I bothered to do the award. 

For anyone who doesn’t know, the Duke Of Edinburgh award (or DofE) is an award where you can do bronze, silver and gold. For all you need to do a certain amount of time of a physical, a skill and a volunteering activity. Then there’s an expedition which you have to survive, it looks really good if you can complete the award, especially for gold.

So a couple of weeks ago I had to do the final expedition. My group failed the practise due to a certain group member who has been discussed on this blog before, and I usually refer to them as E. I wasn’t looking forward to the final expedition as a result of this. 

Anyway, day one was mostly alright, we had a few minor group arguments about the route as well as another 2 group members making general comments towards each other due to the weird circumstances of their friendship/ being friends with benefits thing. (Long story short, they broke up a while ago, stayed friends, girl not happy when boy talks to anyone, boy recently got new girlfriend).

In the evening when I was in a tent by myself because my tent mate didn’t show up and no one else wanted to be in a tent with me “in case they had to carry more tent” I realised how much I was hating the expedition. I was in pain from my badly fitting backpack and I just wasn’t enjoying myself at all.

I guess at this point I realised I had places I could be where I might get some sleep and some WiFi. The worst point was when I looked at the dog poo bag containing my phone and I realised a fucking dog poo bag and some sellotape was all that was stopping me from reaching civilisation.

Day two was when everything went really downhill. I nearly threw up my breakfast because we “had” to eat it. We were also warned that the route for this day was difficult, our supervisor got lost when they had to walk it before.

At about 11am we were very lost. We walked through a forest where we got attacked by nettles and thorns, most of the plants were overgrown. Then we got out of the other side and the horseflies came along. I got 5 bites, and I don’t react well to them.

After this, shit happened. Apparently it was all my fault that we were lost. Everyone was pissed with everyone. And of course, it just is never E’s fault that anything happens.

We found a road and some houses that were marked on the map and found our way to the checkpoint. However, at this point we had only just arrived there within an hour (any longer and you have to notify someone). E was then pissed that we had to walk straight through the next two checkpoints to try and make up some time. 

And it was all my fault. And if E was going to faint, it would be all my fault. At this point I was just thinking “are you going to faint? No. Great. Let me know if you are, then we can stop.”

As we walked along I basically received a character assassination. I’m not going to lie, I was glad for my sunglasses. 

So we survived and got to the end and it looked impressive that we’d “found our way back by ourselves”. Our supervisor was talking to me while we waited for our bus back, by this point my group were playing on some children’s playing equipment and she was asking how I thought it went.

This was the point where I could literally no longer control myself, (I’m normally pretty good at controlling my emotions). I literally cried and I told her how I’d hated every minute and basically explained what had happened.

Then my dad called, great timing as ever. I tried to pretend it was all OK, it didn’t work. I was so tired and genuinely insulted by my so called best friend’s behaviour that, yeah, I was a mess.

If there’s anything to learn from my experience, I’d say that sunglasses are your best friend, don’t make yourself eat your breakfast and make sure you aren’t going to hate each other at the end when you pick your group.

I hope you enjoyed this post, please give it a like. In all seriousness, although I currently do not want to do silver I would really reccomend doing the award because I really enjoyed all the other parts of it. Please feel free to share your experiences in the comments, if you want to see more of what I have to say please feel free to follow me.

AwkwardHuman xx

People I Hate On Twitter

Hello!

So I’ve discussed people I hate on Instagram and on Snapchat. I think that it’s only fair that I discuss the people that I hate on Twitter, because like Instagram and Snapchat, I hate a lot of people on Twitter.

Firstly, I have to discuss the person who simply replies to tweets with emojis. Quite frankly, if you’re going to bother to take 3 seconds to do that, either take another 3 to write some words, or don’t waste your time at all, all it does is annoy anyone who follows you having to scroll through endless emojis of your twitter replies (yes by all means, OCCASIONALLY it is OK, but just quit it all the time).

I also have a major problem with people who reply to every tweet that a person in the public eye writes. Especially the people who ask them to follow them because it will “make their day”. Shut the fuck up, if you are literally begging people to follow you, it’s probably because you have nothing interesting to say and they don’t want to see the endless replies to other people which are also not worth the space in their timeline that the tweet takes up.

I also have serious problems with that person who follows you, unfollows you then refollows you. A certain LGBT rights activist has done this to me several times, while I find it hilarious that evidently I can’t be bothered to annoy people over their views like said person enough, it is actually quite annoying the way every so often they decide to refollow me again and I have to go to the effort of opening my Twitter to see that they decided to do this.

The small youtubers that have about 20 accounts which they follow you on are also really annoying. You go onto your Twitter to see you have around 7 new followers. But oh look, they’re all the same person trying to get you to subscribe to their channel, you know what? I don’t think I will thank you very much. More annoying than this, is when they then DM you to ask you to subscribe and you’re left there politely saying “I’ll check it out later!” When really, we all know that that will not be happening.

My final person that I hate on twitter is the person whose tweet is mostly hashtags “and their #tweet will have #random hashtags in the #middle of the tweet”  and it basically just screams idiot from a mile away.

If you think I have forgotten any of the annoying people of Twitter in this post, please comment it at the bottom. If you liked this post, please give it a like and if you want to see more of what I have to say, please follow me. My socials are also linked at the top if you are not using the WordPress reader.

AwkwardHuman xx

Types Of People I Hate On Instagram

Hello!

A while ago I made a post about people who annoy me on snapchat and I decided that since a lot of people annoy me on Instagram, I would talk about them here.

1. The Layout Person. This person is really annoying because they clog up your feed with random looking posts and only when you click on their profile and all of their posts do you see the full effect. I personally just find the individual posts in my feed so annoying.

I do love Kygo and his music, but I had to use his feed as an example for the obvious reason of anonymity.

2. The Endless Restarter. This person, every so often will either delete everything they ever posted, or like the layout person, will post dividing posts. I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Also, can I point out that I have a brain, I can clearly see that your posts forward of a certain point look a bit different.

3. The “Like My Recent” person. I don’t need a separate post to tell me to go and like the last thing you posted. If I want to see what you posted, I will go straight to that post.

4. The Attention Seeker. Most people I know fall into this category. This person posts a photo with the caption “Not Sure/ Don’t like _____ chose”. Firstly, if you don’t like it, don’t share it. Secondly, I couldn’t care less who told you to post it. They will also post photos captioned ” Opinions?” All the fucking time. Mate, don’t get pissed with me when I say that’s a shit photo. You wanted my opinion.

5. The Quoter. This person either posts backgrounds from the internet with a quote they found on the internet on top of it that means shit all to no one, either that or they post a selfie with a completely irrelevant quote, often from an overplayed shit song, as the caption. Just get off the internet.

6. The Endless Hastag User. This person generally puts their whole caption in hashtags. In all fairness, I haven’t found anyone who does this recently, but it’s just annoying.

7. The Snapshot Screenshotter. You do not deserve to be on the internet. As if you weren’t annoying enough on Snapchat, you also curse your Instagram followers. No one gives a shit about the endless dog filter selfies. Just delete your account please.

So that’s that. If you enjoyed this post, give it a like or a comment. If you want to see more of what I have to say please do follow me, it genuinely means a lot. My social medias are linked at the top of my page.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

People On Snapchat Who Really Annoy Me

Hello!

Today I am going to talk about something that really annoys me. This something, it’s something most people use in their everyday lives and it will eat your data allowance. It’s called Snapchat.

It’s not so much Snapchat that annoys me. It’s the people who use it. Minutes before I began writing this post I got a fucking circular snap sent to me. 

I’m telling you, there is nothing more irritating when your phone goes off. You go to the effort of getting it out of your pocket (which is a lot with the jacket I was wearing earlier). Then you see that someone sent you a Snapchat. You open your phone and see that its something like “out now n/r” or “someone pop up”.

Shut the hell up. You are heading the right way to get blocked.

While I’m on the subject of pointless snapchats. Streaks. No. Just no. My stories are always full of people saying “anyone want to do streaks?” NO ONE WANTS TO DO STREAKS WITH YOU. 

And oh my god. People who give their passwords to their friends so they can keep their streaks going while their on holiday. Oh yes, why don’t we just exchange phone passcodes while we’re at it. Or scratch that, just make a joint account in the first place.

Can I also please address the issue of filters. By all means have a play with them. But do not post you mucking around with EVERY filter on to your story. Save humanity please.

People who put their numbers onto Snapchat on the 1 second photo… What exactly is it you are trying to achieve? I had to ask that question? If you actually want people to get your number, either give it to them or put it onto a decent length photo so people with slow reactions or shit phones may have a chance. Thank you.

The guy who’s there lip syncing and dancing to overplayed songs (yes, hello Marcus Butler), quit it. No one gives a shit. We don’t want to see you looking like a fuckimg idiot with a really overplayed song in the background.

Finally. If your name is not Dillon Francis, please do not attempt to be the angry guy who’s so angry its funny to get more friends. It only works if your name is Dillon Francis.

I hope you enjoyed this little complaining session. I enjoyed it, its been a while since I had a good complain. If you did enjoy it please give it a like, if I there’s a type of person on Snapchat who pisses you off and I forgot them, please do let me know about them and if you want to see more of these type of things, also let me know in the comments. If you want to see more of my posts please follow me, it really means a lot.

Love, AkwardHuman xx

And may I just make the fact that no one reading this will be getting my Snapchat. Thanks. Although if you want to follow any of my other socials, they are below.

2016

Hello!

Happy New Year! Its that time of year when everyone goes around saying “New Year New Me” and that bullshit and make their New Years resolutions.

Photo Credit: @aviciimemes Instagram.

Last year… Well I had to find the post to screenshot my resolutions, but here they are (with a bit of the rest of the post because who has time for cropping?)

Resolution 1: Went well until September. Then the gym went out of the window.

Resolution 2: I came out to a few people so I achieved that one.

Resolution 3: Well I’m the person I want to be. I think I’m less annoying too…

Resolution 4: Geography is good, I got an A* in my mock. English is improving, I got a 5 (I’m doing the new 1-9 GCSEs for English).

This year I’m not making resolutions. I just want to go and make it another amazing year for me, and I will try to share as much of it as I can with the internet. However, I will put it out there now: GCSEs are in May/June. So from April to the end of them there will be no posts.

 Other than that my main ambition is to have another amazing year, and I’m going to look back on some of my highlights:

  • I went to Italy
  • I went to Croatia
  • came out to a number of people
  • I cut my hair (big big deal)
  • I got to shoot my friends a lot playing laser tag (it’s a big part of my life, don’t judge me)
  • My friends and I, in June, all wore onezies and went into a shop with one of us dressed as Santa. When asked if we needed a bag Santa’s reply was “No, I’ve got my sack”. You had to be there but it was very funny.
  • My rabbit had an abscess on its face and eventually, she has now fully recovered and is beautiful again.
  • I had a photo in the local newspaper.
  • Me and my mum, brother and C skipped school and went to Cambridge for the day. It was a good day.
  • I’ve had a number of amazing days with L.
  • One of my readers called me inspirational (thank you very much)
  • I got a job at a yard a couple of miles down the road and a lot of free rides.
  • I’ve had the best riding instructor for a large chunk of the year (still annoyed they left) as well as getting a few private lessons.
  • My brother set off a stink bomb at school and I was also in disgrace as a result.
  • I passed Grade 3 Piano
  • I got an ensuite put into my room.
  • Both Nicky Romero and Axwell have liked tweets I have sent at some point over the year
  • Axwell replied to one of my tweets

    I mean yes there have been downs, my gran died, a meme was voted America’s next president, England officially fucked itself up forever. Personally I don’t get why everyone is complaining about how shit 2016 has been.

    Thank you for reading my blog this year. Make 2017 absolutely epic. Like this post if you enjoyed it, follow me if you want to see more from me, it genuinely means so much to me.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Being Ignored

    Hello!

    I am someone who tends to be ignored a lot. I’m not sure if this is because when I get ignored I make stupid comments since my opinion is apparently not valid or whether it is because my opinion just is not valid.

    There are few people who don’t ignore me. It is very frustrating, especially since sometimes what I want to say is of importance or urgence. 

    I tend to be sick and/or faint randomly, especially when I’m tired or stressed, my (ex)friends know this. We were walking around school once and I was feeling I’ll and dizzy. I said “guys can we stop, I don’t feel well.” I was ignored, so we carried on walking, until the point where I was just sick in the middle of a school corridor (it was pretty empty thank god.)

    This is just one example of when I have been ignored, and also why I am no longer such good friends with C. They are not the only culprits, even my current friends do it (unless I’m fainting/being sick.) 

    When I punched the fuckboy, I’d been saying for weeks I would punch him and they probably hadn’t been listening because all I got in reply was “lovely” in a sarcastic manner. But when I did it I was told “Why the hell did you do that? You’re so dead.” 

    It is genuinely so frustrating being ignored in this way, especially since when people want my help I’m suddenly their best friend then 5 minutes later I’m just told to fuck off because I’m not welcome in the present conversation.

    Thanks guys. You’re all great too.

    Let me know if you’ve had a worse experience than this in the comments below. Don’t forget to like this post if you enjoyed it. I write shit every Sunday, so if you want to read more, feel free to follow me, it means so much to me.

    Love,  AkwardHuman xx

    Normal- Such a good thing?

    Hello!

    I am weird. We all are. It would be boring if we were all the same. However, there is a definition of ‘normal’ which is what the majority see as the way to be. Guess what? I don’t fall into the category of ‘normal’. What the fuck even is ‘normal’?

    I got bored, so I decided to make a little list of why I would most likely NEVER fall into this category.

    1. Shopping. ‘Normal’ females have a tendancy to do this a lot. As we all know from my post about shopping I don’t like it very much. At all. This makes it very hard for me to connect with others because most people have their love of wasting money in common, I don’t which is why…

    2. Socialising. This is hard for me. Most ‘normal’ people love going out to parties, hanging with their mates. Having to much to drink. My friends are regularly planning outings where they want to get really pissed. Firstly, I dislike people. Secondly, being drunk does you no favours whatsoever.

    3. Clothes. My favourite outfit would consist of jeans, t-shirt, a hoodie. If it’s cold/windy chuck on some overtrousers and a coat. As for the shoes, wellies. My ‘normal’ friends are so impractical. Which idiot decided shorts in winter are a good idea. We live in Britain. It’s cold here. Like seriously, a good year has 10 days of no rain and 4 days of sun. Don’t get me started on heels. They hurt so much. I have worn them. What is a good idea about 4 inch heels? Use them as a shiv in an emergency? Yeah…. A biro will do for that along with some trainers or converse so you can run away from it in the first place.

    Woah I got passionate…

    4. Music. Here’s a really fun one. I don’t know about anyone else but all the kids in my school are really into rock music. Or even worse, screamo. It’s not music. Most of it is someone screaming into a microphone. Not remotely musical. Or relaxing. I like electronic music, it’s actually musical and most of the people who make it are still alive. Unless suddenly every DJ has gone and died. In which case, I’m in trouble.

    5. Left Handed. It’s awkward. You have to use different scissors. You always have to sit on the end of the row. It’s difficult ok. Don’t get me started on how much my parents struggled to teach me how to write and tie shoelaces.

    6. My tendency to challenge social standings. Well you should know about my tendencies to annoy popular kids by now… Only last week I punched a fuckboy, and I regularly have issues with the popular girls.

    7. Bisexual. Not quite so abnormal, but if my family knew… I’d definitely be the weirdo and freak of the family. So that’s a positive thought.

    Anyway, that was just me having a laugh at people who try to be ‘normal’ which by the way is not something that actually exists. Don’t bother, you’re just going to go through unneccessary pain.

    AkwardHuman xx

    I am very sorry that this is so late, I only just realised (26/19/16) that this was a draft not published.

    Twitter & Instagram: @akwardhumanblog
    Wattpad: @AkwardHumanBlog

    Annoying things Teenage Girls Do

    Hello!

    There are a number of things people do (teenage girls in particular) that just really annoy me… And hopefully other people. So I decided to make a list and moan about it here.

    1. Constant giggling at everything. Surely not everything is hilarious… What is it with the constant giggling?? Oh sorry, I forgot, your also obsessed with bitching about people constantly, and crushing the way other people choose to live is hilarious. 

    2. The never ending hot boy hunt. This annoys me so much. Whenever we go on a school trip its just a constant hot boy hunt and then there’s the whole thing of “oh my god, we need to get his Instagram”. Have people heard just how annoying they are… And remember, while this is happening, the giggling continues…

    3. The obsession with being in someone’s Instagram bio. What’s the point. All it does is when you run out of space for that one friend, is offend them and suddenly you fall out. It doesn’t even mean anything except that you have tonnes of friends that probably when it comes down to it, won’t help you.

    4. Shopping. We all know I hate shopping anyway. I’ve written posts on it in the past.

    5. The obsession with prom. It is one fucking night. Ours is an entire 9 months away and girls in my class are there like “I need a dress” and “oh my god, I need to find a date”. What is this world coming to? It’s saying goodbye to the people you hate (I will not be going to mine because I will probably be chasing sheep or eat pizza on my own- much better).

    6. The constant need for everyone’s focus to be on them. Quit attention seeking. People with actual problems could use the attention much more than you could, so leave your stupid problems of “I ran out of this stupidly precise shade of foundation” for later.

    7. Screaming. For some reason, the girls in my class are just scared of everything and whenever there is the tiniest spider, they all scream and run as far away as possible. This is just one more way that they attention seek. 

    8. Nutella. Its not that great. Why are people obsessed with it? Its just a chocolate hazelnut spread that keeps on going solid in my house so you can’t spread it…

    9. Topshop. Its expensive. If you are awkwardly tall like me you can’t find clothes in the right size. Half their clothes are stupidly impractical. 

    10. The constant need to fit it. This is the worst thing. C is a classic example of this. One person in a friendship group does something, so everyone else does it because its ‘cool’ or funny. Even if they don’t actually believe in it. It would be nice if this was to stop one day, and we can all be the people we actually want  to be.

    So that is things teenage girls do/obsess about that really annoys me.

    In other news, I’m off to Italy this week and I get back into the UK on Thursday for one night then I’m off to camp for the weekend. 

    Love, AkwardHuman xx

    Why I am the way I am

    Hello!

    You may or may not be aware, but Britain’s Got (no) Talent is currently on and in the semifinal stage (or was when I wrote this). My Mum, throughout the entire auditions was just saying to me “This show is so cruel. These people come on thinking they’re good and their not. When they apply they put them into two pools- the good people and the no hopers”.

    Ok point taken. Maybe it wouldn’t be so cruel if people weren’t so polite. It’s just so typically British to be to polite to say anything that could possibly offend anyone else.

    It’s part of the reason I am so honest with my opinions about people. If I think someone is shit at something, I tell them. This is only what I would want people to do for me. Karma??

    I just hate this British thing where you can’t say the truth. My Grandma is a classic example. She went to a restaurant and didn’t like her food because it was too spicy. In the way she does, she sort of just moved it around the plate. When the waiter showed up to say ‘Is everything alright?’ He just got ‘yeah, its great’ from everyone.

    What the hell. You are paying for decent food. You are the consumer, make sure you are getting what you bloody want.

    Britain, sort this out.

    Love, AkwardHuman xx