So I just got a haircut, I went in for a trim, told the hairdresser wanted. It came out a little bit shorter than I would have liked, but all in all I don’t think it’s a bad cut.
I got into the car and my mum started having a go at me about how it was too short and how I look like a guy and people will think I’m a lesbian.
While she was saying this, I was retaliating in my head, the usual “well you’re halfway there, congratulations.” I wasn’t really taking in that part of it.
I got in and looked in the mirror, and it appears I heard way too much of what she said and I hated what had happened to my hair.
I decided to take a photo and send it to B and E. B got back pretty quickly and told me, yes its short. Its not that different to when it was first done and I left getting a trim so long that it does feel shorter than it is. She also told me not to listen to my mum.
It made me realise that I take far too much of what she has to say personally. The way she always has an opinion on what I do and how it ruins my confidence in myself.
She always goes on at me about how I was as a child, how confident, pretty, friendly. All that bullshit. That child is gone. It has been destroyed by you mum. She made me do stuff I didn’t want to do, destroying my confidence. She made me wear stuff I didn’t want to wear, making me have a severe hate towards anything girly. She made me socialise with people I hate, giving me a general disliking to humans.
What she does has far too much of an impact on me, and I really don’t like that. Especially when she has a go at me about gay people. She only pushes me further and further into the closet, and I want to be able to be myself.
Please, never let what anyone says get to you in this way. Be the best version of you, you can and want to be. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do with your life.
Love, AkwardHuman xx