Lately I’ve started running… I say lately… About a year ago. (The world must be ending). The main time I tend to run is on Saturdays at the parkrun. While I’ve been going, I’ve noticed there are a few certain types of people.
1. The person in a marathon T-shirt. These people tend to be the ones who finish in around 18 minutes and personally, I’d swear they’re only there to intimidate everyone else. This person may alternate their marathon t-shirt with their 200 parkrun milestone t-shirt.
2. The speedwalker. Personally I’ve never understood speed walkers, but whatever, if that’s what you enjoy. JUST MOVE OVER WITH YOUR ELBOWS. Seriously, if I end up behind one at the beginning, I just can’t get past.
3. The “speedwalker” This person likes to pretend that they’re walking with a purpose, but really they’re just out for a walk…
4. The old person. You had the perfect excuse to not have to do exercise… Some of the older people at my local parkrun are amazing, how do they do it…?
5. The motivator. This person will often go running past and says “come on, you can do it. Not far left”. I’m guilty of doing this, mostly because I then can’t walk or I will look like a hypocrite.
6. The person who drags their kids round. These kids are 5 at the most. I’m pretty sure it’s not good for their growth to be running 5km weekly. None of them look like they’re having a great time.
7. The selfie taker. The important part of parkrun for this person, is taking the selfie at the end to put on Facebook to make all their friends feel bad for not exercising.
8. All the gear and no idea. This person has all the running stuff- including headphones and a phone strap on their arm, and very expensive trainers. They go running off at the start at a crazy pace, but you overtake them by the 1mile marker because they’ve stopped and walked the rest after not long.
9. The cheater. This is someone who you know runs quite slowly, but when you get to the end, they’ve finished before you. Then when you ask how many laps they did of where, it turns out that they “didn’t realize” certain areas required more than one lap.
10. The one who doesn’t know why they’re there. I’ve been there. It seemed like a great idea on Friday evening, but you wake up on Saturday morning and just think “why the fuck did I agree to this.” But you said to your running buddies that you’d go, so you have to.
I think I’ve covered most people in this list. In all seriousness, I think parkrun is brilliant, and it’s even better that it’s free. Thank you to all the volunteers who allow it to stay that way. I think I speak for anyone who does parkrun when I say, we massively appreciate everything all the volunteers do.
I think parkrun is a really great way to get fit, everyone is really supportive, and my local parkrun in particular has a real community, we even have a Facebook group…
If you enjoyed this post, give it a like. Leave a comment if I forgot any. Follow me to see more of what I have to say. My socials are linked at the top.